Volume 3

Again … after your reproching ,preaching ….,my soul feels beaten down ,once again our weak love is broken . Cord of love has been cut by the seassors of your cruel words …Why ?

Why are you keep hurting me ? May you not be a little more considerate ? Where is love inside your anger ?

Do you have love for me ? If you do ,why you fail to show it to me ?  Do you loathe me ,but say you love me not to make a monster out of your own self?

I am left with  deep void inbetween my ribs ,i do not have a right for emotions  nor to have a heart .

Do you get that my passive agressive anger is just a reaction on your behavior ? Your coldness is slowley murrdering me inside –out.

You are not willing to see it . It is less hurtful to stick your head into the sand . But all demage goes to me …i am everything wrong . I am the one who is hurt the most ,i need to save myself from you … You do not care for me but i do .

I need to brake free from you .

Let me go …

If you dont ?

If you kill me at the end ?

What do i have to do for my parents to valuate me ?

Why they do not valuate me ?

Why when i see some other parents hugging  , kissing their kids i feel like someone has stabbed me in the heart ? In my mind i beg them to stop , i just can not see  all the acts of love without feeling guilty aversion towards love.I can not see someone hugging ,kissing without feeling hurt ,alienated ,rejected ,sad , i must swallow my tears if i am in public .

Why you do not  speak to me like normal people but you are yelling at me ,say negative things about me like i have nothing positive to offer to this world ?

Am i all wrong ,or you just want to make me feel worse to make yourself better then me ? Are you that low ?

If you are ..oh well you are beyond  patectic if you have to humiliate your own child to make yourself feel better

You are a waste of time . You are nobody.

Why do others try to make their kids big in the eyes of another human beings ? They love them ,how  about you, why do you as my perent humiliate me in front of others , you do not love me …why should i care about you ? I do not , not anymore . Be gone ! Stay away!

Published on August 1st, 2022