Cold dark room,

Why it is the only place I can hide, 

I realized that he knew,

I really wished that I had known,

How much pain he was going to give me.

I heard footsteps outside,

Those footsteps was moving viciously with thuds,

That made me yearn for a chance to ran away for muds.

I dreamt of a world where I am happy,

But he was already looking for me.

He dragged me out from the closet,

I knew he had sensed that I am afraid, 

Cowering in fright, I pleaded,

"Please spare me, don't do this to me".

But I could tell I already lost,

The alcohol and ego he depended on had already measured my life.

It was all my fault that I fell for his trap,

It was all my fault that I caused this mishap.

He thrashed me and punched me,

I never even dared to flee.

I am used to being thrashed,

I am used to him making me bruised, 

The fake laughter, the broken smile

I'm used to all of it.

With the first strike I should have ran away,

With the first punch I should have retaliated,

I should have never tried to hide away, forgive away.

Never ever I should have pretended that everything was just perfectly fine,

I should have never tried to be fine,

I should have never tried to make everything fine,

I guess I never should have tried to make you mine.

Published December 7th, 2022